Once there was a pretty little spider. (I know that those of you who don't think the words pretty and spider ought to be near each other, but go with me here, OK?) She woke one morning, knowing that she had to spin a new web. She looked out from the bush she was in and said to herself, "I am going to spin a web all the way across to that bush over there. It will be a huge and glorious web."
So the spider anchored a strand to the branch she was on, climbed to the end of a leaf, and launched herself into the air. A favorable breeze took her out a bit and she floated, floated, slowly, gently falling to the earth...
...about half way to the other bush.
No problem, thought the spider. The sun was just lightening the sky as she began to crawl. She crawled and crawled, and then crawled some more. She finally reached the base of the bush. The pretty little spider started to climb the nearest branch, which soon ended. The spider squinted across at the point where the other end of the web strand was anchored in the first bush. Not high enough, thought the spider, and so she scrambled down the opposite side of the branch and started up another one. She repeated this process until she finally reached a high branch roughly level with the first anchor point. She then pulled the line taut and anchored it to the branch. She now had a bridge line. She then crawled to another branch, set another anchor, then climbed out onto the bridge line to the halfway point and tied off the strand, so that there were two strands out to the middle of the bridge line. She then climbed back to the first bush, crawled off a little distance, and set another anchor point.
Finally the spider rested and surveyed her work. She had a bridge line, reinforced on both sides. A good start, she thought. This will be a great web. I will catch many flies, and live in fat content for many days...
Wait, what is that blue and purple thing coming this way?
It was me, running right through her nascent web, catching it right across my forehead.
Around 70 this morning, and about 90% humidity. Bleh.
2.5 mi - 29 min - 5.2 mph
This morning I listened to one song on a loop during my morning jog - Revelation Song, sung by Kari Jobe. We are learning this song for worship team, and it is marvelous. It glorifies Jesus! Here is the video of the song:
August 30, 2008
August 27, 2008
Wednesday morning
2.5 mi - 31 min - 4.8 mph
58 degrees(!) and sunny. Beautiful.
I lazed around this morning, trying to decide if I was going out today. I still have a bit of a sore throat, and I didn't want to stress my body if it meant staying ill longer. I finally did go out, and did OK. It seems like my muscles are getting used to this jogging motion - I jogged for most of the first mile without much of a problem. The last mile, though, is still tough, but not from a muscle standpoint. I just get tired.
58 degrees(!) and sunny. Beautiful.
I lazed around this morning, trying to decide if I was going out today. I still have a bit of a sore throat, and I didn't want to stress my body if it meant staying ill longer. I finally did go out, and did OK. It seems like my muscles are getting used to this jogging motion - I jogged for most of the first mile without much of a problem. The last mile, though, is still tough, but not from a muscle standpoint. I just get tired.
August 26, 2008
The self referential poetical entry
The following sonnet was written in response to Josh's challenge on his blog.
I set my hands to keys to write
Dredge from my heart my inner thought
Turn round my gaze in this dark night
And knead my neck, my muscles taut
Look hard to left, and back to right
There must be something I can say
Some mem'ry cheer, or deep insight
To get the surfers here today
Some inside joke, some pithy word
Some story fun of Pastor Bruce
But nothing comes! It seems absurd
I hear not one thing from my Muse
Make floods of thoughts to now unclog
Dear God, please let them read my blog
August 25, 2008
Post service commentary; Moon day
Yesterday was Sunday, and I had the privilege of singing on the worship team. Here are some of my experiences from the service. Note: there isn't a lot of spiritual commentary on the following. Hopefully this won't disillusion either of you two.
I was really dragging when practice started at 8:30am - tired, and needing coffee. I hadn't really warmed up my voice a lot, so I took it easy at the beginning of practice and, fortunately, never felt like I was straining. We started learning a gorgeous new song that just begs for harmony. I've been thinking about other music to write this entry, though, and I can't remember the song right now. After practice I got some coffee, which helped wake me up. Unfortunately I forgot that the coffee at church is really hot and it burned the tip of my tongue - not good for a singer. I had to cut it with water to cool it down.
After coffee I went to the prayer room before the meeting, and, seeing that it was empty, started to sing in tongues. I was startled thirty seconds later to see someone curled up behind one of the chairs in the room. They were either praying or sleeping, I couldn't tell. Whatever they were doing I didn't want to disturb them, so I went outside into the hot sun to continue singing. Singing in tongues helps get my mind and spirit straight. Leading worship is work and I don't know that I will be able to do the worship that I need to do personally during the corporate worship, so setting a baseline of honoring God myself before the meeting really helps me. If nothing else, I have said to Him what I need to say: He is Lord, and I honor Him.
Before worship, the worship team had a typically hurried pre-game prayer. I usually don't pray out loud during this prayer; I'm either not into it, have nothing original to add, or am too far into worship myself to want to speak (though I sometimes sing in tongues - that's a prayer, right?). But yesterday I prayed that we would do something real during the meeting - that we would forget about the week and lay ourselves down and acknowledge that God is our Master. That we would get some real work done. I got some amens to that, so I concluded that it resonated with other people.
We started with a song that we have done several times: "Give You Glory" by Jeremy Camp. This song was a little awkward to sing. See, when Paul pulls chord music off the web, he prints them as-is, which usually means small, thin fonts on the page. This makes it hard for us old guys to read, so I take them and gussy them up with larger, bolder fonts. Well, for this song, I ran out of vertical space, so I opted to move the second verse up beside the first verse. The lines of the verses are really short, so the verses fit fine with lots of white space in between. However, it is an odd place to find a second verse, so I had a few seconds of my eyes fumbling around on the page trying to find the words that I was supposed to be singing. Not so good.
We did a new song today - "In You", written by Joyce. We've been chewing on it in practice for a couple of months now and finally brought it out yesterday. I've had problems finding my part during the bridge (which I guess isn't technically a bridge but is more like a "Chorus 2", but what the heck), but yesterday during practice I finally found a counter-melody during the bridge that I was satisfied with. Yay for the Spirit of last minute things!
Usually, when we start a song I sing melody for the first verse. It's mostly to "hold something back" musically. When we do a new song I try to sing melody more because I figure people need to learn the melody. In addition, usually when Joyce sings I will let her have the first verse to herself, because she has such a pretty voice. However, I really wanted to harmonize with Joyce on this song, so I came in half-way through the first verse - but I couldn't find my harmony. I started on the melody and just couldn't seem to find the harmony line. I could have backed off from the mic and worked it out, but I opted to keep singing melody. It wasn't until the end of the chorus that I finally found my harmonic line. Very weird.
I eventually got it together, though, and did my part during the bridge. It felt like I should sing my part really strongly during the the last run through of the bridge, and I think it worked. I actually listened to a recording of this part yesterday afternoon, and had the odd experience of getting goosebumps at hearing my own singing. That has never happened before - like most people, I generally hate to hear recordings of my own voice.
I also remember a few instances of singing some basic patterns in between songs, including one with Joyce. I think it added and didn't distract. At one point someone started some free-form singing after a song, which I was glad to join. I don't think I sang in tongues at all during the meeting, which is kind of unusual for me.
Our last song was "Let the Weak Say", and I got to sing/hum/ooh a little bluesy descant to the keyboard intro while Neil was talking at the mic. I enjoyed that. Because of this descant I tend to think of this song as a more gentle-type song, though it is really very declarative. We had a little miscommunication with this song, though - one team member was adding in an extra measure after the end of the chorus before repeating, which was a little disconcerting.
Externally, worship appeared to go well - I heard some nice comments, and even apart from the free-form worship I mentioned earlier I heard some things that led me to believe that people in the congregation were getting into worship. Also, a cool guy that I know went up to the mic to deliver a word. I don't think he's ever been at the mic before.
Christian taught on James 5 and did his usual excellent job. After the meeting I wandered around a bit, trying to see which of the wonderful people there that I should spend my time with. I ended up hanging out with Rebekah, who was unable to escape because of a sleeping child ;-). We ended up praying together for someone who was looking for prophetic prayer, which was cool.
Then I went home and fell asleep.
2.5 - 35 - 4.3
Today I woke up to a sore throat and a sore back. I considered cutting it short today, but I got through the first lap OK and so I continued. No spider webs today, and I remembered to low-five the evil branch on both laps today. However, today was the first day of public school, and as I live near a school I got to pass all manner of young people that looked like they think they will never be 44 years old. I'm glad I started this six weeks ago, otherwise the prospect of having such an audience would have put me off. I guess I'm pretty vain.
I was really dragging when practice started at 8:30am - tired, and needing coffee. I hadn't really warmed up my voice a lot, so I took it easy at the beginning of practice and, fortunately, never felt like I was straining. We started learning a gorgeous new song that just begs for harmony. I've been thinking about other music to write this entry, though, and I can't remember the song right now. After practice I got some coffee, which helped wake me up. Unfortunately I forgot that the coffee at church is really hot and it burned the tip of my tongue - not good for a singer. I had to cut it with water to cool it down.
After coffee I went to the prayer room before the meeting, and, seeing that it was empty, started to sing in tongues. I was startled thirty seconds later to see someone curled up behind one of the chairs in the room. They were either praying or sleeping, I couldn't tell. Whatever they were doing I didn't want to disturb them, so I went outside into the hot sun to continue singing. Singing in tongues helps get my mind and spirit straight. Leading worship is work and I don't know that I will be able to do the worship that I need to do personally during the corporate worship, so setting a baseline of honoring God myself before the meeting really helps me. If nothing else, I have said to Him what I need to say: He is Lord, and I honor Him.
Before worship, the worship team had a typically hurried pre-game prayer. I usually don't pray out loud during this prayer; I'm either not into it, have nothing original to add, or am too far into worship myself to want to speak (though I sometimes sing in tongues - that's a prayer, right?). But yesterday I prayed that we would do something real during the meeting - that we would forget about the week and lay ourselves down and acknowledge that God is our Master. That we would get some real work done. I got some amens to that, so I concluded that it resonated with other people.
We started with a song that we have done several times: "Give You Glory" by Jeremy Camp. This song was a little awkward to sing. See, when Paul pulls chord music off the web, he prints them as-is, which usually means small, thin fonts on the page. This makes it hard for us old guys to read, so I take them and gussy them up with larger, bolder fonts. Well, for this song, I ran out of vertical space, so I opted to move the second verse up beside the first verse. The lines of the verses are really short, so the verses fit fine with lots of white space in between. However, it is an odd place to find a second verse, so I had a few seconds of my eyes fumbling around on the page trying to find the words that I was supposed to be singing. Not so good.
We did a new song today - "In You", written by Joyce. We've been chewing on it in practice for a couple of months now and finally brought it out yesterday. I've had problems finding my part during the bridge (which I guess isn't technically a bridge but is more like a "Chorus 2", but what the heck), but yesterday during practice I finally found a counter-melody during the bridge that I was satisfied with. Yay for the Spirit of last minute things!
Usually, when we start a song I sing melody for the first verse. It's mostly to "hold something back" musically. When we do a new song I try to sing melody more because I figure people need to learn the melody. In addition, usually when Joyce sings I will let her have the first verse to herself, because she has such a pretty voice. However, I really wanted to harmonize with Joyce on this song, so I came in half-way through the first verse - but I couldn't find my harmony. I started on the melody and just couldn't seem to find the harmony line. I could have backed off from the mic and worked it out, but I opted to keep singing melody. It wasn't until the end of the chorus that I finally found my harmonic line. Very weird.
I eventually got it together, though, and did my part during the bridge. It felt like I should sing my part really strongly during the the last run through of the bridge, and I think it worked. I actually listened to a recording of this part yesterday afternoon, and had the odd experience of getting goosebumps at hearing my own singing. That has never happened before - like most people, I generally hate to hear recordings of my own voice.
I also remember a few instances of singing some basic patterns in between songs, including one with Joyce. I think it added and didn't distract. At one point someone started some free-form singing after a song, which I was glad to join. I don't think I sang in tongues at all during the meeting, which is kind of unusual for me.
Our last song was "Let the Weak Say", and I got to sing/hum/ooh a little bluesy descant to the keyboard intro while Neil was talking at the mic. I enjoyed that. Because of this descant I tend to think of this song as a more gentle-type song, though it is really very declarative. We had a little miscommunication with this song, though - one team member was adding in an extra measure after the end of the chorus before repeating, which was a little disconcerting.
Externally, worship appeared to go well - I heard some nice comments, and even apart from the free-form worship I mentioned earlier I heard some things that led me to believe that people in the congregation were getting into worship. Also, a cool guy that I know went up to the mic to deliver a word. I don't think he's ever been at the mic before.
Christian taught on James 5 and did his usual excellent job. After the meeting I wandered around a bit, trying to see which of the wonderful people there that I should spend my time with. I ended up hanging out with Rebekah, who was unable to escape because of a sleeping child ;-). We ended up praying together for someone who was looking for prophetic prayer, which was cool.
Then I went home and fell asleep.
2.5 - 35 - 4.3
Today I woke up to a sore throat and a sore back. I considered cutting it short today, but I got through the first lap OK and so I continued. No spider webs today, and I remembered to low-five the evil branch on both laps today. However, today was the first day of public school, and as I live near a school I got to pass all manner of young people that looked like they think they will never be 44 years old. I'm glad I started this six weeks ago, otherwise the prospect of having such an audience would have put me off. I guess I'm pretty vain.
August 23, 2008
Worship on Sunday
I am helping to lead worship on Sunday, and so I have been thinking and praying about it. I've also been trying to actually worship my great God and Creator, rather than just think about it.
One difficulty with jogging versus walking is that with both, I listen to worship music. With walking I can occasionally sing along. This is right out with jogging. But this doesn't stop the urge to do so!
Yesterday I was listening to these words:
He is a very good God.
One difficulty with jogging versus walking is that with both, I listen to worship music. With walking I can occasionally sing along. This is right out with jogging. But this doesn't stop the urge to do so!
Yesterday I was listening to these words:
Let all the moons and all the stars, in all the universeI imagined myself on a high cliff, in the middle of the night. It was totally night, but it wasn't dark; the sky was blazing with the moon and the planets and the stars. Together, we were praising the mighty God who made us all - moons, planets, stars, cliff, earth, air, me. Together, we were doing the pleasing work of worship. Arms uplifted, I felt connected with all creation in honoring this amazing God of ours, who made such complex beauty, whose very words spun out into both the tiny intricate detail of cells and the vast distances between the fiery, blazing stars. Who reaches out to me and says that He wants to know me, take me into His family and call me son.
Sing praises to the Living God, who rules them by His word.
Hallelujah! Glory be to our great God!
He is a very good God.
August 22, 2008
Jogging and not jogging
Today is pretty. 60 degrees at 6:30am, with bright sun. Heavy dew. Is this really August?
During this morning's run (which sounds so much better than "gasping walk-jog thing"), I was thinking about the first time in my life that I tried to run for exercise. My brother had a book called Aerobics, which I think was the classic 1968 book by Kenneth Cooper. My brother had the book because he was interested in running; he eventually ran track in high school. I had already been overweight for a while, so I was probably about 12. Anyway, I took the test in the book, and I started jogging per the book's instructions. I took my bike and, using the odometer, I mapped out a course that I thought was about a mile. Now, using the Gmaps Pedometer, I can tell that it was more like three-quarters of a mile. I remember that I got to the point where I was running that distance in six and a half minutes, which is pretty good.
Then came the day that I got scared off from jogging.
I don't remember the incident too well. I just remember that toward the end of the day's run a girl from my school ran out at me and yelled at me. I don't remember her name, or what she looked like (other than a lot of tall black hair). I don't remember what she yelled. I just have this vague memory of being startled by having her run at me, and of being ridiculed that I (fat I) was bothering to exercise. Like it was ridiculous to think that I could change from what I was - which to her seemed to be "just the fat kid."
I never went jogging after that. I guess, really, this is the first time I'm trying to jog since then. I was afraid of being ridiculed. I was ashamed of being fat, and believed that everyone despised me for being fat. Anything that brought that feeling out into the open was to be avoided at any cost, and so I gave up the one thing that I was doing that could reverse the situation.
How would things have been different if I had been able to ignore her? Or if I had someone encourage me to continue? Or if I had given my parents a truthful instead of a mumbled answer when they asked me why I stopped? Or if I had known the Lord well enough to get help from Him?
Father, I choose to forgive - this girl, those around me, myself for giving in and giving up.
2.5 - 30 - 5
Wow, am I glad that I started timing my workouts! What an improvement! This is 9% better than I did on Tuesday! This is encouraging. To celebrate, I took an extended cool down over to the park near the creek, which is a pretty place to stretch. Then I ended up cleaning up some of the trash left in the park. :(
During this morning's run (which sounds so much better than "gasping walk-jog thing"), I was thinking about the first time in my life that I tried to run for exercise. My brother had a book called Aerobics, which I think was the classic 1968 book by Kenneth Cooper. My brother had the book because he was interested in running; he eventually ran track in high school. I had already been overweight for a while, so I was probably about 12. Anyway, I took the test in the book, and I started jogging per the book's instructions. I took my bike and, using the odometer, I mapped out a course that I thought was about a mile. Now, using the Gmaps Pedometer, I can tell that it was more like three-quarters of a mile. I remember that I got to the point where I was running that distance in six and a half minutes, which is pretty good.
Then came the day that I got scared off from jogging.
I don't remember the incident too well. I just remember that toward the end of the day's run a girl from my school ran out at me and yelled at me. I don't remember her name, or what she looked like (other than a lot of tall black hair). I don't remember what she yelled. I just have this vague memory of being startled by having her run at me, and of being ridiculed that I (fat I) was bothering to exercise. Like it was ridiculous to think that I could change from what I was - which to her seemed to be "just the fat kid."
I never went jogging after that. I guess, really, this is the first time I'm trying to jog since then. I was afraid of being ridiculed. I was ashamed of being fat, and believed that everyone despised me for being fat. Anything that brought that feeling out into the open was to be avoided at any cost, and so I gave up the one thing that I was doing that could reverse the situation.
How would things have been different if I had been able to ignore her? Or if I had someone encourage me to continue? Or if I had given my parents a truthful instead of a mumbled answer when they asked me why I stopped? Or if I had known the Lord well enough to get help from Him?
Father, I choose to forgive - this girl, those around me, myself for giving in and giving up.
2.5 - 30 - 5
Wow, am I glad that I started timing my workouts! What an improvement! This is 9% better than I did on Tuesday! This is encouraging. To celebrate, I took an extended cool down over to the park near the creek, which is a pretty place to stretch. Then I ended up cleaning up some of the trash left in the park. :(
August 21, 2008
A show before a show
Make sure you take a look at the new article that mentions Jess in the section Google: News about Jessica Latshaw over in the right hand column of my blog. This section searches Google News for articles about Jessica and A Chorus Line. The new article is called REPORTER’S NOTEBOOK: A show before the show - Daily Pilot. There's a quote from Jess, and a picture of her!
Theophany, or Christophany?
This Sunday our Bible study read Genesis 48. I was struck by this passage, where Jacob is blessing Joseph's sons Ephraim and Manasseh:
48:15 Then he [Jacob] blessed Joseph and said,
"May the God before whom my fathers Abraham and Isaac walked,
the God who has been my shepherd all my life to this day,
16 the Angel who has delivered me from all harm --
may he bless these boys. May they be called by my name and the names of my fathers Abraham and Isaac, and may they increase greatly upon the earth."
I thought it interesting that Jacob calls God "the Angel." We know that Jacob saw angels several times - at Bethel (Jacob's ladder), at Mahanaim, and probably at Peniel (though the Bible says that he wrestled with a man). However, it doesn't seem that he is referring to any of these incidents when he says "the Angel who has delivered me from all harm."
I looked up the word translated "angel" above. It is mal'ak, and it is the common Hebrew word which is translated "angel" in the Old Testament. Here is how the Hebrew lexicon defines it:
messenger, representative
Theophanic wasn't a word I was familiar with, though I should have been able to figure it out. It comes from the Greek theophaneia, which is from theos (god) + phainesthai (to appear). So the theophanic angel is an appearance of God as an angel. It is related to several other words you may know:
So let me just throw this out there. What do you think? Theophany, or Christophany? Or was it a case of mistaken identity?
48:15 Then he [Jacob] blessed Joseph and said,
"May the God before whom my fathers Abraham and Isaac walked,
the God who has been my shepherd all my life to this day,
16 the Angel who has delivered me from all harm --
may he bless these boys. May they be called by my name and the names of my fathers Abraham and Isaac, and may they increase greatly upon the earth."
I thought it interesting that Jacob calls God "the Angel." We know that Jacob saw angels several times - at Bethel (Jacob's ladder), at Mahanaim, and probably at Peniel (though the Bible says that he wrestled with a man). However, it doesn't seem that he is referring to any of these incidents when he says "the Angel who has delivered me from all harm."
I looked up the word translated "angel" above. It is mal'ak, and it is the common Hebrew word which is translated "angel" in the Old Testament. Here is how the Hebrew lexicon defines it:
messenger, representative
- messenger
- angel
- the theophanic angel
Theophanic wasn't a word I was familiar with, though I should have been able to figure it out. It comes from the Greek theophaneia, which is from theos (god) + phainesthai (to appear). So the theophanic angel is an appearance of God as an angel. It is related to several other words you may know:
Christophany - an appearance of ChristIn my searches on this subject, I ran across this page (warning: ugly page alert). It is a relevant page, because it gathers together many of the Scriptures dealing with the theophanic angel. I haven't completely read the page in depth, but it brings up an interesting argument that I have heard before:
Epiphany - an "appearance" of the essential meaning of some thing.
- In some appearances of angels (the theophanic angel), the angel is treated as God Himself - He is worshipped, sacrificed to, etc., all without apparent rebuke toward the person doing these things that are clearly reserved for God alone. In Exodus 3:6 (the burning bush), it appears that this angel even declares himself to be God, saying "I am the God of your father -- the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob."
- God the Father has never been seen (see Exodus 33:20, John 5:37, John 6:46)
- Ma'lak means, at its root, "one who is sent." It doesn't make sense that God the Father would be sent - who would send Him?
- Jesus is both God (John 10:30) and He has been sent (John 20:21).
- Therefore, the theophanic angel is really Jesus. The argument of the page linked above is that this is Jesus in some pre-incarnate form. I have also heard that it could be Jesus in His post-resurrection body, which is possible since God is outside of time. Instead of a theophany, these incidents in the Old Testament are really Christophanies.
So let me just throw this out there. What do you think? Theophany, or Christophany? Or was it a case of mistaken identity?
August 19, 2008
Day of Tyr
2.5 - 33 - 4.5
Something happened over the long weekend - my muscles are protesting less, and I am back to my endurance and breath being the limiting factors.
Something happened over the long weekend - my muscles are protesting less, and I am back to my endurance and breath being the limiting factors.
August 18, 2008
More missionaries, and water
Yesterday we had the pleasure of a visit from my sister-in-law, her husband, and two of their four kids. They came to church with us, attended our Bible study after, and hung out with us. Good folks. It was a sweet time.
It was good to see them. They have been in Ukraine for over a decade (I think; seems like forever), leading a Bible training school over there. Now, however, they have come stateside for the foreseeable future and will be living downstate to be near their son and his new grandson. Of course, this holds out the hope that we will see them more often than the every three years or so that has been the usual (though I don't know; for some reason I haven't seen my parents-in-law for about six months). Since they are stepping out of their full-time ministry, they are spending some time in the next couple of months to visit supporters and thank them for their assistance.
They had some miraculous stuff happen when they got here. One day after arriving my sister-in-law was able to get a driver's license (establishing residency through two letters that were delivered to her parent's house for her husband). Then the next day (or maybe the next) they purchased a car. By the end of the week they had found a house to buy and had had their bid on it accepted! Kind of makes your head spin!
While they were here I had a plumbing project go wrong. I worked on adding a new water filter to our kitchen on Saturday, and Sunday morning we woke up to warm water all over the kitchen floor. It had not only soaked through the floor to the basement in one place, it had also gotten into the ductwork and was dripping through several low points to form a huge puddle on the basement floor. My darling wife keeps old towels around for things like this, so we got to work and cleaned it up. We were mostly done before our guests got up; I'm glad I didn't have to deal with the embarrassment of having them help us sop up the mess. Ah well, someday I will laugh. Let's make it today. Hah!
Seriously, I'm thankful that the water didn't do any permanent damage, nor electrocute someone, nor ruin the kitchen computer (which rests on the floor).
Yesterday, I declared to my wife that she would have to get a plumber to finish the project. However, it occurs to me that this may cost a lot of money for someone to tell me "Yup, this filter is bad, send it back." So, I'll get back to work on it tonight. Or maybe tomorrow.
No numbers this morning, I'm too sore.
It was good to see them. They have been in Ukraine for over a decade (I think; seems like forever), leading a Bible training school over there. Now, however, they have come stateside for the foreseeable future and will be living downstate to be near their son and his new grandson. Of course, this holds out the hope that we will see them more often than the every three years or so that has been the usual (though I don't know; for some reason I haven't seen my parents-in-law for about six months). Since they are stepping out of their full-time ministry, they are spending some time in the next couple of months to visit supporters and thank them for their assistance.
They had some miraculous stuff happen when they got here. One day after arriving my sister-in-law was able to get a driver's license (establishing residency through two letters that were delivered to her parent's house for her husband). Then the next day (or maybe the next) they purchased a car. By the end of the week they had found a house to buy and had had their bid on it accepted! Kind of makes your head spin!
While they were here I had a plumbing project go wrong. I worked on adding a new water filter to our kitchen on Saturday, and Sunday morning we woke up to warm water all over the kitchen floor. It had not only soaked through the floor to the basement in one place, it had also gotten into the ductwork and was dripping through several low points to form a huge puddle on the basement floor. My darling wife keeps old towels around for things like this, so we got to work and cleaned it up. We were mostly done before our guests got up; I'm glad I didn't have to deal with the embarrassment of having them help us sop up the mess. Ah well, someday I will laugh. Let's make it today. Hah!
Seriously, I'm thankful that the water didn't do any permanent damage, nor electrocute someone, nor ruin the kitchen computer (which rests on the floor).
Yesterday, I declared to my wife that she would have to get a plumber to finish the project. However, it occurs to me that this may cost a lot of money for someone to tell me "Yup, this filter is bad, send it back." So, I'll get back to work on it tonight. Or maybe tomorrow.
No numbers this morning, I'm too sore.
August 15, 2008
Too much blogging
Playin' with templates
I've been frustrated with the narrow format, since I am, well, wordy. I also added some stuff over to the right there (no, further - way over to the right). Feel free to lambaste or praise my efforts.
Friday mernin
2.5 - 36 - 4.2
Man, it was hard to get out this morning. I was out last night until 11:30, having a wonderful, enriching, emotionally and spiritually pleasing time with dear, spirit filled people. 11:30 is usually early for me, but I went straight to bed. Maybe my spirit needs more of a workout too, because I was exhausted when I got home.
It was lovely out this morning, though. It rained hard last night, so it was about 90% humidity, but the temperature was a cool 62 degrees. I heard about a bajillion crickets and a kajillion birds, but otherwise it was so still. I saw a flash of black and yellow that Donna says was a goldfinch, and I saw something big and brown that she said might have been a brown thrasher. I am so thankful to live next to White Clay Creek. When we bought this house I thought that I might like the creek, and I was concerned about it possibly flooding, but I did not anticipate so enjoying the view out our front window and all of the birds that are about.
Amusingly, today I ran into a spider web. On my first lap around the neighborhood I missed the branch that always slaps my arm, but on the second go around I forgot and it got me.
I sit here and contemplate, and it seems to me that life is good. But not because I finished my week of jogging, or because I have a nice house, a wonderful wife and darling children and dear amazing friends. No, I feel good because God gave me a vision last night that showed me His heart, and He led me to pray for someone I don't even know. I feel honored to be so spoken to and used by Him.
"Don't forget me!" my heart cries to God.
"I will never forget you" He says in reply.
Man, it was hard to get out this morning. I was out last night until 11:30, having a wonderful, enriching, emotionally and spiritually pleasing time with dear, spirit filled people. 11:30 is usually early for me, but I went straight to bed. Maybe my spirit needs more of a workout too, because I was exhausted when I got home.
It was lovely out this morning, though. It rained hard last night, so it was about 90% humidity, but the temperature was a cool 62 degrees. I heard about a bajillion crickets and a kajillion birds, but otherwise it was so still. I saw a flash of black and yellow that Donna says was a goldfinch, and I saw something big and brown that she said might have been a brown thrasher. I am so thankful to live next to White Clay Creek. When we bought this house I thought that I might like the creek, and I was concerned about it possibly flooding, but I did not anticipate so enjoying the view out our front window and all of the birds that are about.
Amusingly, today I ran into a spider web. On my first lap around the neighborhood I missed the branch that always slaps my arm, but on the second go around I forgot and it got me.
I sit here and contemplate, and it seems to me that life is good. But not because I finished my week of jogging, or because I have a nice house, a wonderful wife and darling children and dear amazing friends. No, I feel good because God gave me a vision last night that showed me His heart, and He led me to pray for someone I don't even know. I feel honored to be so spoken to and used by Him.
"Don't forget me!" my heart cries to God.
"I will never forget you" He says in reply.
August 13, 2008
A parable
Once there was a wealthy man, who left his home for a distant land to receive a great honor. Before he left, he divided his wealth into three parts. He put a different servant over each part, to manage and care for it and see to its needs.
To the first servant he gave charge of his house and all of the possessions therein. To the second servant he gave charge of his lands and all of the wealth that they produced. And to the third servant he gave charge of his wife and of his family and of all his other servants.
The first servant said, "This is a large and well-built house. All I need do is watch it and repair anything that goes amiss. This is a pleasant duty!" And so he (mostly) took his ease.
The second servant said, "My master has worked for many years to ensure that his lands produce great wealth. All I need do is let his wisdom continue on, and the wealth will continue to come in. This is a pleasant duty!" And so he (mostly) took his ease.
The third servant said, "My master has a large family and many servants, and though they are content enough now, if my master should return and find them in discord it will go ill for me." So unknown to the first servant the third servant sold off the house and all of its contents, and included the employment of the first servant in the deal. Then he waylaid the the second servant and stole all of his master's wealth. Then with the money that he had gathered he took all of his master's family and servants and took them to Disneyworld to vacation until his master should return.
After a time the master did return. Finding that the locks of his house had been changed, he went in search of the first servant. But the first servant had grown disenchanted with his new masters and had taken a job as the custodian at the local high school. The master walked around the house, looking for an open window, and saw that there were strange automobiles parked in the garage. So he opened the mailbox and saw mail addressed to someone whose name he did not know. With a sinking feeling he began to suspect the terrible truth.
Just then the second servant arrived, wearing around his head one of those blood-soaked bandages that you see on television. The master asked the servant how he had come to be injured, and the second servant told him of how the third servant had overpowered him and stolen all of the cash he had, as well as a great quantity of credit cards. The master then spoke thus to his servant:
Master: Servant, you should go to the hospital, to have your wounds looked upon.
Second Servant: Good Master, I have been to the hospital, and have just returned from thence.
Master: What?! What kind of hospital is this? Your head's still bleeding! Don't they know how to stop a wound from bleeding? Or how to change a bloody dressing?
Second Servant: um...
Eventually, the second servant got the master to stop complaining about the quality of the local health care, and told him of the whereabouts of the third servant.
Six days later the master caught up with the third servant beside the pool at the Old Key West Resort in Disneyworld. He was gratified to see his wife there as well, and more gratified to see that she was modestly dressed in a one piece swimsuit with one of those wrap-around skirts that women modestly wear at poolside when they are striving to be modest.
The master's wife greeted the master with a peck on the cheek.
Wife: "Hi Hon! How was the awards ceremony?"
Master: "Long. They served fish. And these little flowery carrots. Excuse me, oh wife. Third servant!"
Third servant: "Yes, master."
Master: "What is this that you have done?"
The third servant fell to his knees. "Oh master, I know that you are a hard man, reaping where you have not sown and gathering where you have not planted. I was afraid of your wrath if I failed in my charge, and so I have taken all that you entrusted into my care and brought it to this magic kingdom, that it may be safe for your return."
The master replied, "So, third servant, you know that I am a hard man? Then why have you tried to bankrupt me by taking people to Disneyworld?"
The master's wife said, "He has a name, you know! You don't have to keep calling him 'third servant!'"
The third servant relied, "My name is Colegiala."
The master said, "I don't care about your name, I care...what? Your name is Colegiala?"
Third servant: "Yes."
Master: "Col-e-gi-a-la."
"Yes," said the third servant, a little sharply.
Master: "First or last name?"
Third servant: "First name."
Master: "Your first name is 'schoolgirl', in Spanish."
Third servant: "My mother loved Ernest Hemingway."
The master's wife interrupted: "Now dear, he was just looking out for us while you were away with your honor thing. We've had a lovely time! The children..."
The master rudely interrupted his wife to ask the third servant, "And why did you sell the house?!"
The master's wife looked at the third servant with shock. "Sell the house? You sold the house? You said you had just leased it while we were away!"
The master said sternly, "Yes, sold the house, along with all of its contents and the first servant! Whom, I might add, never went gallivanting off with his portion of the wealth!"
The third servant replied thoughtfully, "Hmm, well, I might have sold it. There was an awful lot of paperwork..."
The master interrupted again: "And why did you assault the second servant and steal all of his wealth?"
The master's wife said, in a voice full of dread, "Assaulted!? You said that he offered you the money!"
The third servant said, "Well, after I tapped him with that crowbar, he held his wallet out to me, so technically..."
Suddenly, the master turned as white as the napkins on the poolside tables: "Oh my gosh! Is that the gardener?"
The third servant said, "Yes, my master. I have brought all of your family and servants to this bounteous land."
The master squeaked, "All? All four hundred and thirty-seven?"
The third servant paused. "Okay, it's a little creepy that you have numbered all of your family and servants like that, but yes, I did purchase that many plane tickets to get us here. Well, and an extra ticket, so that the one hundred and eighty-seventh servant could bring his cello along."
The master strode determinedly to the gardener and a large, burly servant that he vaguely believed was in charge of making sure that he had enough paper clips. "You! and you! Take this untrustworthy servant, and cast him into the outer darkness!"
The two servants looked at each other. "The who? The where?" said the gardener.
The master shouted, "Just get him out of here! But get his wallet first!"
And so the third servant was thrown into the outer heat and humidity. The master gathered up all of his family and servants and chartered four buses to take them all home. He found the first servant and reinstated him, and he sent his second servant to a proper doctor who knew what's what and paid for all his medical bills.
As for the third servant, he was never seen at the house of the master ever again. However, he is suing the master for wrongful termination and back wages. The case is currently being appealed in the Court of Orange County, Florida.
To the first servant he gave charge of his house and all of the possessions therein. To the second servant he gave charge of his lands and all of the wealth that they produced. And to the third servant he gave charge of his wife and of his family and of all his other servants.
The first servant said, "This is a large and well-built house. All I need do is watch it and repair anything that goes amiss. This is a pleasant duty!" And so he (mostly) took his ease.
The second servant said, "My master has worked for many years to ensure that his lands produce great wealth. All I need do is let his wisdom continue on, and the wealth will continue to come in. This is a pleasant duty!" And so he (mostly) took his ease.
The third servant said, "My master has a large family and many servants, and though they are content enough now, if my master should return and find them in discord it will go ill for me." So unknown to the first servant the third servant sold off the house and all of its contents, and included the employment of the first servant in the deal. Then he waylaid the the second servant and stole all of his master's wealth. Then with the money that he had gathered he took all of his master's family and servants and took them to Disneyworld to vacation until his master should return.
After a time the master did return. Finding that the locks of his house had been changed, he went in search of the first servant. But the first servant had grown disenchanted with his new masters and had taken a job as the custodian at the local high school. The master walked around the house, looking for an open window, and saw that there were strange automobiles parked in the garage. So he opened the mailbox and saw mail addressed to someone whose name he did not know. With a sinking feeling he began to suspect the terrible truth.
Just then the second servant arrived, wearing around his head one of those blood-soaked bandages that you see on television. The master asked the servant how he had come to be injured, and the second servant told him of how the third servant had overpowered him and stolen all of the cash he had, as well as a great quantity of credit cards. The master then spoke thus to his servant:
Master: Servant, you should go to the hospital, to have your wounds looked upon.
Second Servant: Good Master, I have been to the hospital, and have just returned from thence.
Master: What?! What kind of hospital is this? Your head's still bleeding! Don't they know how to stop a wound from bleeding? Or how to change a bloody dressing?
Second Servant: um...
Eventually, the second servant got the master to stop complaining about the quality of the local health care, and told him of the whereabouts of the third servant.
Six days later the master caught up with the third servant beside the pool at the Old Key West Resort in Disneyworld. He was gratified to see his wife there as well, and more gratified to see that she was modestly dressed in a one piece swimsuit with one of those wrap-around skirts that women modestly wear at poolside when they are striving to be modest.
The master's wife greeted the master with a peck on the cheek.
Wife: "Hi Hon! How was the awards ceremony?"
Master: "Long. They served fish. And these little flowery carrots. Excuse me, oh wife. Third servant!"
Third servant: "Yes, master."
Master: "What is this that you have done?"
The third servant fell to his knees. "Oh master, I know that you are a hard man, reaping where you have not sown and gathering where you have not planted. I was afraid of your wrath if I failed in my charge, and so I have taken all that you entrusted into my care and brought it to this magic kingdom, that it may be safe for your return."
The master replied, "So, third servant, you know that I am a hard man? Then why have you tried to bankrupt me by taking people to Disneyworld?"
The master's wife said, "He has a name, you know! You don't have to keep calling him 'third servant!'"
The third servant relied, "My name is Colegiala."
The master said, "I don't care about your name, I care...what? Your name is Colegiala?"
Third servant: "Yes."
Master: "Col-e-gi-a-la."
"Yes," said the third servant, a little sharply.
Master: "First or last name?"
Third servant: "First name."
Master: "Your first name is 'schoolgirl', in Spanish."
Third servant: "My mother loved Ernest Hemingway."
The master's wife interrupted: "Now dear, he was just looking out for us while you were away with your honor thing. We've had a lovely time! The children..."
The master rudely interrupted his wife to ask the third servant, "And why did you sell the house?!"
The master's wife looked at the third servant with shock. "Sell the house? You sold the house? You said you had just leased it while we were away!"
The master said sternly, "Yes, sold the house, along with all of its contents and the first servant! Whom, I might add, never went gallivanting off with his portion of the wealth!"
The third servant replied thoughtfully, "Hmm, well, I might have sold it. There was an awful lot of paperwork..."
The master interrupted again: "And why did you assault the second servant and steal all of his wealth?"
The master's wife said, in a voice full of dread, "Assaulted!? You said that he offered you the money!"
The third servant said, "Well, after I tapped him with that crowbar, he held his wallet out to me, so technically..."
Suddenly, the master turned as white as the napkins on the poolside tables: "Oh my gosh! Is that the gardener?"
The third servant said, "Yes, my master. I have brought all of your family and servants to this bounteous land."
The master squeaked, "All? All four hundred and thirty-seven?"
The third servant paused. "Okay, it's a little creepy that you have numbered all of your family and servants like that, but yes, I did purchase that many plane tickets to get us here. Well, and an extra ticket, so that the one hundred and eighty-seventh servant could bring his cello along."
The master strode determinedly to the gardener and a large, burly servant that he vaguely believed was in charge of making sure that he had enough paper clips. "You! and you! Take this untrustworthy servant, and cast him into the outer darkness!"
The two servants looked at each other. "The who? The where?" said the gardener.
The master shouted, "Just get him out of here! But get his wallet first!"
And so the third servant was thrown into the outer heat and humidity. The master gathered up all of his family and servants and chartered four buses to take them all home. He found the first servant and reinstated him, and he sent his second servant to a proper doctor who knew what's what and paid for all his medical bills.
As for the third servant, he was never seen at the house of the master ever again. However, he is suing the master for wrongful termination and back wages. The case is currently being appealed in the Court of Orange County, Florida.
Wednesday morning
1.3 - 18 or so - doesn't matter
Not feeling so good this morning. May be stomach upset due to the antibiotics I am on.
Not feeling so good this morning. May be stomach upset due to the antibiotics I am on.
August 12, 2008
Entertaining missionaries
Fair warning: The countries and full names of the missionaries discussed below should not be mentioned. If you include them in the comments, I will delete your comment.
I spent the last two days with missionaries - one pair on their way out, and one pair on their way back.
First up were Pam and Vern on Sunday. They are on their way to a Western Asia country this month. It is always a treat to see them. I have such a deep love for Pam especially, and she seems to have an affection for me as well. Pam is so rich in character, so precious. She reminds me of the phrase that I have come up with for those whom the Spirit has especially put on my heart: my Golden People, people so rich in virtue and worth that it should be obvious to everyone how valuable they are.
After a little talk and a short video, we got to pray for them. I had two prophetic words for Pam. I was so glad that I got to see them, that I got to lead worship on Sunday, that I was able to pray strong, faithful prayers for them and that I had words for them. It was such a delight.
Second, Rob and Iris are back from their central Asia country. They have been in country for six years, and they are back for a year for refreshing and for education for Rob. They and their three kids stayed at our house Monday night; they are on their way to New England where Rob will go to school. Monday evening we had a get together at the Barn for them, and many people from the Webb Road house were there: Todd and Amy Trotman, Bill and Tracey Beck, Judy Hubbard, Rich Campbell, Jenny used-to-be-Fenton (can't remember her married name :-( ), Jeff Snyder. It was good to see them. I remember the last time they returned, how discouraged and burnt-out they were; it was good to see them doing better and more relaxed. They spoke about some of the amazing things that they have seen - people getting saved through their own and other people's dreams, religious leaders learning about Jesus and feeling that they can no longer teach from their own holy book. They also had a presentation, and we got to pray for them too.
Unfortunately, I didn't get to spend much time with Rob and Iris. We got back to the house late, and then they left shortly after I left for work this morning. But it was good to see them.
OK, so I am always very serious in my blog. I've been trying to think of something to lighten up a bit. So, in thinking about Rob, I remember one step along the way to him marrying Iris. He had been praying about it, and he was really conflicted because he knew he was dedicated to being a missionary and really wanted to know God's will - should he take a wife with him? Well, as it turns out NCF had a retreat at Black Rock, and a prophetic couple (the Downings?) were there to minister to people. Rob went for his turn, and it seems to me that I was in the room when he got prayed for. This seems strange to me, because it seems to break personal ministry etiquette a bit; maybe I just imagined the scene from Rob telling me the story. Anyway, the couple had a vision of a "smiling girl" that would be in Rob's life. When they said "smiling girl" Rob just beamed and and laughed; if you have ever met Iris, you know that she is very sweet and positive, and she is one of those people whose face just naturally seems to relax into a smile. It was a confirmation for him of what he was supposed to do. It was a very sweet prophecy.
I spent the last two days with missionaries - one pair on their way out, and one pair on their way back.
First up were Pam and Vern on Sunday. They are on their way to a Western Asia country this month. It is always a treat to see them. I have such a deep love for Pam especially, and she seems to have an affection for me as well. Pam is so rich in character, so precious. She reminds me of the phrase that I have come up with for those whom the Spirit has especially put on my heart: my Golden People, people so rich in virtue and worth that it should be obvious to everyone how valuable they are.
After a little talk and a short video, we got to pray for them. I had two prophetic words for Pam. I was so glad that I got to see them, that I got to lead worship on Sunday, that I was able to pray strong, faithful prayers for them and that I had words for them. It was such a delight.
Second, Rob and Iris are back from their central Asia country. They have been in country for six years, and they are back for a year for refreshing and for education for Rob. They and their three kids stayed at our house Monday night; they are on their way to New England where Rob will go to school. Monday evening we had a get together at the Barn for them, and many people from the Webb Road house were there: Todd and Amy Trotman, Bill and Tracey Beck, Judy Hubbard, Rich Campbell, Jenny used-to-be-Fenton (can't remember her married name :-( ), Jeff Snyder. It was good to see them. I remember the last time they returned, how discouraged and burnt-out they were; it was good to see them doing better and more relaxed. They spoke about some of the amazing things that they have seen - people getting saved through their own and other people's dreams, religious leaders learning about Jesus and feeling that they can no longer teach from their own holy book. They also had a presentation, and we got to pray for them too.
Unfortunately, I didn't get to spend much time with Rob and Iris. We got back to the house late, and then they left shortly after I left for work this morning. But it was good to see them.
OK, so I am always very serious in my blog. I've been trying to think of something to lighten up a bit. So, in thinking about Rob, I remember one step along the way to him marrying Iris. He had been praying about it, and he was really conflicted because he knew he was dedicated to being a missionary and really wanted to know God's will - should he take a wife with him? Well, as it turns out NCF had a retreat at Black Rock, and a prophetic couple (the Downings?) were there to minister to people. Rob went for his turn, and it seems to me that I was in the room when he got prayed for. This seems strange to me, because it seems to break personal ministry etiquette a bit; maybe I just imagined the scene from Rob telling me the story. Anyway, the couple had a vision of a "smiling girl" that would be in Rob's life. When they said "smiling girl" Rob just beamed and and laughed; if you have ever met Iris, you know that she is very sweet and positive, and she is one of those people whose face just naturally seems to relax into a smile. It was a confirmation for him of what he was supposed to do. It was a very sweet prophecy.
August 11, 2008
Praising worship
Worship was really good yesterday. I know, because many people came up to me and said so. Here is a composite of these conversations:
Them: "Worship was really good today.
Me: "Yes, it was."
Them: "I really enjoyed it."
Me: "Good. I'm glad"
Then they look at me like they expect me to say something more. In one such conversation, I successfully deflected by talking about Joyce and how much I enjoy her voice and admire her improvisational skills.
I know what people are looking for: they are expecting me to say "thank you." They feel like they gave me a compliment, and a thank-you completes the transaction. But they didn't give me a compliment; they commented on the worship itself. I don't have anything to do with whether a spirit of worship comes over the meeting. Well, maybe that isn't quite true; I have something to do with it, but I really don't have much more to do with it than the "ordinary citizens" of the congregation. Yes, I prayed for a good worship time, and yes, I personally worshiped before the meeting so that I could hit the ground running, so to speak. Physically, I tried to warm up so that I wouldn't crack or squeak on the high notes. But I've done all those things before, and more, and sometimes the worship time isn't so very good.
If you think about it, the idea that my lil ole voice could move the hearts and affections and the spirits of a couple of hundred people who are stuck in the doldrums or in unbelief is pretty silly. Worship was great because of the work of many people, so that when the music actually started there was a tipping point of more people focused on God and on His splendor and on the amazing love of Jesus than on the Olympics or the work they have to do around the house or whatever. Great worship is a corporate work - not the work of any individual.
I do say thank you when people compliment me on my singing. Or, at least, I try to; sometimes I revert back to an "aw shucks, I ain't that good" response, which stinks because I'm indirectly saying that they don't have any judgment. But I won't take credit for the spirit of worship that people feel during the meeting. I shouldn't; it wasn't my doing.
I know at least one of the two of you have led worship; what do you think?
2.5 - 36 - 4.2
Them: "Worship was really good today.
Me: "Yes, it was."
Them: "I really enjoyed it."
Me: "Good. I'm glad"
Then they look at me like they expect me to say something more. In one such conversation, I successfully deflected by talking about Joyce and how much I enjoy her voice and admire her improvisational skills.
I know what people are looking for: they are expecting me to say "thank you." They feel like they gave me a compliment, and a thank-you completes the transaction. But they didn't give me a compliment; they commented on the worship itself. I don't have anything to do with whether a spirit of worship comes over the meeting. Well, maybe that isn't quite true; I have something to do with it, but I really don't have much more to do with it than the "ordinary citizens" of the congregation. Yes, I prayed for a good worship time, and yes, I personally worshiped before the meeting so that I could hit the ground running, so to speak. Physically, I tried to warm up so that I wouldn't crack or squeak on the high notes. But I've done all those things before, and more, and sometimes the worship time isn't so very good.
If you think about it, the idea that my lil ole voice could move the hearts and affections and the spirits of a couple of hundred people who are stuck in the doldrums or in unbelief is pretty silly. Worship was great because of the work of many people, so that when the music actually started there was a tipping point of more people focused on God and on His splendor and on the amazing love of Jesus than on the Olympics or the work they have to do around the house or whatever. Great worship is a corporate work - not the work of any individual.
I do say thank you when people compliment me on my singing. Or, at least, I try to; sometimes I revert back to an "aw shucks, I ain't that good" response, which stinks because I'm indirectly saying that they don't have any judgment. But I won't take credit for the spirit of worship that people feel during the meeting. I shouldn't; it wasn't my doing.
I know at least one of the two of you have led worship; what do you think?
2.5 - 36 - 4.2
August 10, 2008
Soreness for myself
I'm pretty sore this morning. I spent about nine hours yesterday working on a continuing home improvement project. I've been replacing the ugly clamshell baseboards in our living room with some white colonial baseboards with shoe molding. I'm also trimming out the doorways, so that instead of just a drywall opening they have colonial molding. We've already done the dining room this way, and we just finished painting the living room. It all looks quite pretty - or will, once it gets painted and all the caulk and wood putty I used to fill in my errors get covered up. If you kin of squint when you look at it it looks pretty spiffy.
Last weekend, when I was on my knees pounding nails, I thought about how all of this work is for me. I'm working hard, and it is all to benefit my nice middle class existence. If I'm going to labor like this, shouldn't I be laboring for someone that doesn't have any baseboards? I could be doing this work for someone that needs it more desperately than I do. Of course, the work wouldn't be particularly fast or good-looking, but still.
I expressed this sentiment to my wife, and she wisely reminded me of what she always says: "Is God telling you to do that?" The idea is, the Spirit will tell me what I need to be doing, and I don't have to go running ahead trying to imagine what God's task list is for me.
It's a good question, and a way to keep me sane and to hold off the guilt that I seem to so often go looking for. But then I get thinking: how much am I listening? How much am I open to what the Spirit is asking of me? If He told me to go install some baseboards for someone else, wouldn't I just brush it off as a crazy notion, of work that I was unsuited for? Am I just fooling myself so that I can sit at home and watch FireFly some more?
How do you reconcile your middle class existence in the midst of the need of other people?
Last weekend, when I was on my knees pounding nails, I thought about how all of this work is for me. I'm working hard, and it is all to benefit my nice middle class existence. If I'm going to labor like this, shouldn't I be laboring for someone that doesn't have any baseboards? I could be doing this work for someone that needs it more desperately than I do. Of course, the work wouldn't be particularly fast or good-looking, but still.
I expressed this sentiment to my wife, and she wisely reminded me of what she always says: "Is God telling you to do that?" The idea is, the Spirit will tell me what I need to be doing, and I don't have to go running ahead trying to imagine what God's task list is for me.
It's a good question, and a way to keep me sane and to hold off the guilt that I seem to so often go looking for. But then I get thinking: how much am I listening? How much am I open to what the Spirit is asking of me? If He told me to go install some baseboards for someone else, wouldn't I just brush it off as a crazy notion, of work that I was unsuited for? Am I just fooling myself so that I can sit at home and watch FireFly some more?
How do you reconcile your middle class existence in the midst of the need of other people?
August 8, 2008
The meaning of numbers
Susan asked what the numbers mean, so I will tell you: They are a summary of my latest workout.
Here is what the numbers mean: 2.5 miles, 35 minutes = average 4.3 mph. This is the end of my third week of three times a week workouts.
My goal to to reach, within no particular time frame, 2.5 miles in 25 minutes. Then I hope to increase that to 3 miles in 30 minutes, all without getting injured. This was inspired by this article. I'm not really following the plan they outline (keeping track of the times they list seems like a real pain), I'm just trying to do what feels right in alternating between walking and jogging.
If I can keep at this, I will reward myself with a nice piece of exercise equipment (pending wifely approval) so that I can continue to exercise inside during the winter. It seems logical that this would be a treadmill of some sort, but if anyone has a great favorite piece of equipment I'm willing to read suggestions.
I'm telling you this because I need prayer from both of you that I would keep this up and that I would get the sleep I need (yes, dear wife, I said it!) so that I can continue to get up in the morning and feel like I want to do something other than nap on the couch.
Oh, and if you ask me on a Sunday how the exercise program (or the sleep thing) is going and I grump at you? Sorry in advance.
Here is what the numbers mean: 2.5 miles, 35 minutes = average 4.3 mph. This is the end of my third week of three times a week workouts.
My goal to to reach, within no particular time frame, 2.5 miles in 25 minutes. Then I hope to increase that to 3 miles in 30 minutes, all without getting injured. This was inspired by this article. I'm not really following the plan they outline (keeping track of the times they list seems like a real pain), I'm just trying to do what feels right in alternating between walking and jogging.
If I can keep at this, I will reward myself with a nice piece of exercise equipment (pending wifely approval) so that I can continue to exercise inside during the winter. It seems logical that this would be a treadmill of some sort, but if anyone has a great favorite piece of equipment I'm willing to read suggestions.
I'm telling you this because I need prayer from both of you that I would keep this up and that I would get the sleep I need (yes, dear wife, I said it!) so that I can continue to get up in the morning and feel like I want to do something other than nap on the couch.
Oh, and if you ask me on a Sunday how the exercise program (or the sleep thing) is going and I grump at you? Sorry in advance.
August 7, 2008
Advice on temper tantrums
This is a special post for one person in particular (hi Susan! You can't see me, but I'm waving really hard over here!), but hopefully the other person who reads this blog will find it interesting too. Most of what I learned that is best about parenting I learned from my dear wife; this is definitely one of the things I learned from her.
Let's talk about temper tantrums. Most children will at some point try a temper tantrum to get their way. In doing so, they are trying to gain control through fierce emotions.
(Just to be clear, a temper tantrum is when a child cries and/or thrashes (or goes limp) in a seemingly uncontrollable manner, with the goal of getting their way. Crying because of physical injury or because the child is frightened is not a temper tantrum. Fortunately, at least the first few times a child throws a temper tantrum, it is pretty obvious that the cause of the tantrum is a desire for control and not some other emotional distress.)
Children will hit on throwing tantrums because they have noticed that when mom or dad wants something right away that they put emotion behind their request ("Stop that! Right now!"). They have probably also tried ramping up their own emotions, and may have noticed that parents jump a little quicker when the crying starts. So now they are full out trying to get their way by pouring as much emotion out as they can.
I think that stopping tantrums is really important, and it has to be a priority to train a child to stop them. In fact, I think that it needs to take priority over almost everything else, except things like imminent physical injury to another child. In throwing a tantrum, the child is doing several things wrong:
My recommendation for tantrums is to not to respond to them. Remember how in an earlier post I said that parents need to have a little corner of their hearts where they are indifferently objective toward their children? This is where you use that part of your heart. Calmly tell your child that you can't understand them when they are wailing like that, but if they can speak to you in a calm voice you would be glad to talk to them. Then ignore them a while. Every minute or two return to them, calmly tell them that you are sorry that they are upset, but that you can't speak to them until they can speak calmly. The goal is to train the child that if they want to be heard they will need to give up their strong emotional position and meet you on an emotionally level playing field.
Notice the two phrasings that I used: "I can't understand you" and "I can't speak to you". You may feel that saying "I can't understand you" isn't exactly honest, and may prefer to use the second wording. I like using "I can't understand you" because it makes it easier for me to maintain the position that I can't do anything until I am spoken to calmly. It really is amazing how quickly a child can calm down when they believe that they can't be understood.
Okay, so what if this happens in a public place, like a store? Well, children don't pick these places at random to throw tantrums. They pick them because they know that you are task-focused and are probably willing to take a shortcut or two in your parenting in order to get through with your shopping. In these situations, it is vital that you maintain a consistent response to tantrums; otherwise, the child will learn that in certain situations their strategy is effective. I think that if your child throws a tantrum in public that you can have your calm little discussion with your child as I said above. You can check that they are not where they are going to get stepped on and briefly move them if need be. Then you can step away a few feet and let them wail. Maybe you can look around with an expression like "where are the parents of this child?" like the rest of the adults. You can reassure your other children that little Jane just needs to let out some big emotions and she will be okay. You can comfort yourself with the knowledge that it takes a village to raise a child, and withstanding the uncomfortable sound of a screaming child is how the village of adults in the store is helping you raise your child today.
Now, maybe this is too much for you to deal with in public. Or, maybe your child throws a tantrum while you are in the middle of a transaction, like while you are paying for your items. Or maybe your child is clever enough to try and hurt themselves to get your attention. I've seen children who, when moved out of harms way, will quickly move themselves back again, or who will throw themselves on the ground in an apparent disregard for their physical safety. In these cases I recommend that you warn the child once, excuse yourself from any adults (I'm sure the store would be glad to hold or restock your selected items while you deal with your child) and then quickly transport your child out of the public place.
Whenever we had to take this step we used a special hold that we used only for discipline (mostly for tantrums and for disobeying commands to come). We called this hold "carrying [our child] like a sack of flour." This hold was basically draping the child over our forearm with them face down. It wasn't a particularly uncomfortable hold (in fact, as infants they liked being held that way), but because we used it only for discipline it signaled our displeasure and meant that they weren't being held, just transported.
Take the child to your car or other neutral place and then let them tantrum on until they respond to your even-voiced requests for calm conversation. Keeping your own voice calm and indifferent is key. Pretend that being asked to listen to a screamed request is like being asked to reverse gravity: it's a physical impossibility that you really can't do anything about.
Once the child is able to speak calmly, praise them for making a wise choice and comfort them over their big feelings. Then respond to their request (either yes or no or compromise) and hug that sweet little person. They've been through a lot!
Let's talk about temper tantrums. Most children will at some point try a temper tantrum to get their way. In doing so, they are trying to gain control through fierce emotions.
(Just to be clear, a temper tantrum is when a child cries and/or thrashes (or goes limp) in a seemingly uncontrollable manner, with the goal of getting their way. Crying because of physical injury or because the child is frightened is not a temper tantrum. Fortunately, at least the first few times a child throws a temper tantrum, it is pretty obvious that the cause of the tantrum is a desire for control and not some other emotional distress.)
Children will hit on throwing tantrums because they have noticed that when mom or dad wants something right away that they put emotion behind their request ("Stop that! Right now!"). They have probably also tried ramping up their own emotions, and may have noticed that parents jump a little quicker when the crying starts. So now they are full out trying to get their way by pouring as much emotion out as they can.
I think that stopping tantrums is really important, and it has to be a priority to train a child to stop them. In fact, I think that it needs to take priority over almost everything else, except things like imminent physical injury to another child. In throwing a tantrum, the child is doing several things wrong:
- They are trying to dominate someone else through emotional force. This is bad when you are two; this is horrible when you are thirty-two. Teaching your child that dominating others through emotional force is wrong is a valuable lesson that will stand them in good stead for the rest of their lives.
- They are challenging your authority as a parent. This always makes for a priority situation on my book.
- They are training themselves to lose control. If a child rehearses tantrums enough, they may actually be unable to step away from the tantrum behavior in the way I describe below. This is why I feel that it is essential to take care of tantrums early.
- They try to get the child what they want as quickly as they can. This seems to be an almost unconscious or instinctual response. To paraphrase Bill Cosby, it's like there is a nerve at the base of the spine that starts jumping whenever the child starts wailing, and this nerve compels the parent to run to make the wailing stop!
- They try to overcome the child's emotional barrage with one of their own. This reaction usually comes after the parent has fallen victim to several temper tantrums in the past and realizes that they are being manipulated. They may cajole the child to stop, or get angry at the child and threaten them with discipline or punishment ("I'll give you something to cry about..."). In extreme cases, the parent may throw a fit of their own.
My recommendation for tantrums is to not to respond to them. Remember how in an earlier post I said that parents need to have a little corner of their hearts where they are indifferently objective toward their children? This is where you use that part of your heart. Calmly tell your child that you can't understand them when they are wailing like that, but if they can speak to you in a calm voice you would be glad to talk to them. Then ignore them a while. Every minute or two return to them, calmly tell them that you are sorry that they are upset, but that you can't speak to them until they can speak calmly. The goal is to train the child that if they want to be heard they will need to give up their strong emotional position and meet you on an emotionally level playing field.
Notice the two phrasings that I used: "I can't understand you" and "I can't speak to you". You may feel that saying "I can't understand you" isn't exactly honest, and may prefer to use the second wording. I like using "I can't understand you" because it makes it easier for me to maintain the position that I can't do anything until I am spoken to calmly. It really is amazing how quickly a child can calm down when they believe that they can't be understood.
Okay, so what if this happens in a public place, like a store? Well, children don't pick these places at random to throw tantrums. They pick them because they know that you are task-focused and are probably willing to take a shortcut or two in your parenting in order to get through with your shopping. In these situations, it is vital that you maintain a consistent response to tantrums; otherwise, the child will learn that in certain situations their strategy is effective. I think that if your child throws a tantrum in public that you can have your calm little discussion with your child as I said above. You can check that they are not where they are going to get stepped on and briefly move them if need be. Then you can step away a few feet and let them wail. Maybe you can look around with an expression like "where are the parents of this child?" like the rest of the adults. You can reassure your other children that little Jane just needs to let out some big emotions and she will be okay. You can comfort yourself with the knowledge that it takes a village to raise a child, and withstanding the uncomfortable sound of a screaming child is how the village of adults in the store is helping you raise your child today.
Now, maybe this is too much for you to deal with in public. Or, maybe your child throws a tantrum while you are in the middle of a transaction, like while you are paying for your items. Or maybe your child is clever enough to try and hurt themselves to get your attention. I've seen children who, when moved out of harms way, will quickly move themselves back again, or who will throw themselves on the ground in an apparent disregard for their physical safety. In these cases I recommend that you warn the child once, excuse yourself from any adults (I'm sure the store would be glad to hold or restock your selected items while you deal with your child) and then quickly transport your child out of the public place.
Whenever we had to take this step we used a special hold that we used only for discipline (mostly for tantrums and for disobeying commands to come). We called this hold "carrying [our child] like a sack of flour." This hold was basically draping the child over our forearm with them face down. It wasn't a particularly uncomfortable hold (in fact, as infants they liked being held that way), but because we used it only for discipline it signaled our displeasure and meant that they weren't being held, just transported.
Take the child to your car or other neutral place and then let them tantrum on until they respond to your even-voiced requests for calm conversation. Keeping your own voice calm and indifferent is key. Pretend that being asked to listen to a screamed request is like being asked to reverse gravity: it's a physical impossibility that you really can't do anything about.
Once the child is able to speak calmly, praise them for making a wise choice and comfort them over their big feelings. Then respond to their request (either yes or no or compromise) and hug that sweet little person. They've been through a lot!
August 6, 2008
August 5, 2008
Parenting thoughts
Here are some thoughts on parenting.
Every parent has to reserve within their heart a little corner where they are indifferently, if not coldly, objective toward their children. This is where they can retreat when their affection for their child threatens to override their wisdom for what is best for their child.
In most cases a young child will win a battle of emotions - their emotions are undimmed by the years of shepherding that most adults have experienced, they are more willing to pour all of their energy into the battle, and they are not deterred by empathy for their opponent. The key to winning a battle of emotions is to not show up for the fight, and to instead compel the child to interrelate on the parent's terms.
It is a joy that children push limits. They are naturally drawn to exercise each new faculty that they gain, so when they push limits they show that they are growing. In addition, they will push only when they are in an otherwise secure environment - many is the child that was "perfect" for the babysitter and then fell to pieces when the parents returned home. Let us take joy in the fact that our growing children feel secure enough to test out the limits in our presence. Our job is not to condemn them for pushing limits, but to determine where they should meet up with an earthen bank that may be climbed and where they should meet up with a tall stone wall that may not.
A child's brain is the most amazing pattern recognition machine in the world.
Children are deceptive. When born, they appear to be little more than some type of helpless pet. Later, they learn and grow, but they are still easy to overrule, easy to physically move, easy to segregate. It is tempting to forget that their spirits are fully present at birth, and that they are true spiritual persons in the same way that any adult is. Because of this, they need to be treated like people and not merely directed to go here and do this and don't do this. They need to be treated like people, and not like clever furniture.
Children need interaction. They require response. They need to know that what they do matters, and that they can affect the world around them. A child will flower when given the great treasure of an adult that will listen to everything they have to say and answer all of their questions.
It is not defeat to admit weakness to a child. It will not utterly devastate a child to learn that their parents have doubts and struggles and don't know everything. It is not failure but victory when you confess to your child that you made a mistake and ask for their forgiveness.
My main advice to fathers: open yourself up to joy. Allow yourself to feel the wonder of being a father.
Every parent has to reserve within their heart a little corner where they are indifferently, if not coldly, objective toward their children. This is where they can retreat when their affection for their child threatens to override their wisdom for what is best for their child.
In most cases a young child will win a battle of emotions - their emotions are undimmed by the years of shepherding that most adults have experienced, they are more willing to pour all of their energy into the battle, and they are not deterred by empathy for their opponent. The key to winning a battle of emotions is to not show up for the fight, and to instead compel the child to interrelate on the parent's terms.
It is a joy that children push limits. They are naturally drawn to exercise each new faculty that they gain, so when they push limits they show that they are growing. In addition, they will push only when they are in an otherwise secure environment - many is the child that was "perfect" for the babysitter and then fell to pieces when the parents returned home. Let us take joy in the fact that our growing children feel secure enough to test out the limits in our presence. Our job is not to condemn them for pushing limits, but to determine where they should meet up with an earthen bank that may be climbed and where they should meet up with a tall stone wall that may not.
A child's brain is the most amazing pattern recognition machine in the world.
Children are deceptive. When born, they appear to be little more than some type of helpless pet. Later, they learn and grow, but they are still easy to overrule, easy to physically move, easy to segregate. It is tempting to forget that their spirits are fully present at birth, and that they are true spiritual persons in the same way that any adult is. Because of this, they need to be treated like people and not merely directed to go here and do this and don't do this. They need to be treated like people, and not like clever furniture.
Children need interaction. They require response. They need to know that what they do matters, and that they can affect the world around them. A child will flower when given the great treasure of an adult that will listen to everything they have to say and answer all of their questions.
It is not defeat to admit weakness to a child. It will not utterly devastate a child to learn that their parents have doubts and struggles and don't know everything. It is not failure but victory when you confess to your child that you made a mistake and ask for their forgiveness.
My main advice to fathers: open yourself up to joy. Allow yourself to feel the wonder of being a father.
Personal update
I pulled all my job-related posts from this blog because it wasn't really the focus that I wanted to have here - I wanted this blog to be more about my ideas about God and Christianity than personal updates. However, some (okay, maybe one and a half) people requested personal updates. Gotta respects my peeps, so here goes.
I was scheduled to lose my job July 11th. However, two weeks before this date, I received an email that stated that the layoff had been rescinded. That's it. No further explanation, no "welcome back and we're glad it worked out," and no apology.
I'm not real thrilled with how I was treated throughout this episode. However, there is much that I like about my job - it pays well, the work can be interesting, and I don't have a lot of oversight or pressure. In addition, it is a 9 to 5 job (well, 9 to 6), which is really unusual in IT - most Information Technology jobs require working or being on call on nights and weekends. When I realized all these positives about my job, I was thankful for the job that I have.
Last month I saw an interesting job with a smaller company. The pay range just barely covered my current pay, so that was a potential issue (if I give up 18 years of seniority, my pension and four weeks a year of paid vacation, I want to be compensated for it), but what really turned me off to the job was that it required nights and weekends. I suppose that I could view it as an investment in a better future - I think that I would have a better chance of advancing at a different company - but I'm not sure that I feel the need to advance at the expense of my time with church and family. I might be happier with new challenges, but I can find plenty of IT-related challenges on my own without making it a job requirement.
So the job hunt is in slow mode right now. That's what's going on.
I was scheduled to lose my job July 11th. However, two weeks before this date, I received an email that stated that the layoff had been rescinded. That's it. No further explanation, no "welcome back and we're glad it worked out," and no apology.
I'm not real thrilled with how I was treated throughout this episode. However, there is much that I like about my job - it pays well, the work can be interesting, and I don't have a lot of oversight or pressure. In addition, it is a 9 to 5 job (well, 9 to 6), which is really unusual in IT - most Information Technology jobs require working or being on call on nights and weekends. When I realized all these positives about my job, I was thankful for the job that I have.
Last month I saw an interesting job with a smaller company. The pay range just barely covered my current pay, so that was a potential issue (if I give up 18 years of seniority, my pension and four weeks a year of paid vacation, I want to be compensated for it), but what really turned me off to the job was that it required nights and weekends. I suppose that I could view it as an investment in a better future - I think that I would have a better chance of advancing at a different company - but I'm not sure that I feel the need to advance at the expense of my time with church and family. I might be happier with new challenges, but I can find plenty of IT-related challenges on my own without making it a job requirement.
So the job hunt is in slow mode right now. That's what's going on.
August 3, 2008
Primoris Spiritus Sanctus
Sweetly enough, I received comments to post something from both of the people who read my blog. So here goes.
I had Bible Study today. Actually, Bible study was only the first half. After we talked about Genesis 47 (and, once again, I had the marvelous experience of discovering something new in the Bible that I had never seen before), we spent as-much-and-a-half-as-much time talking about other things. All spiritually related. All uplifting.
One thing that we talked about I thought that I would get in trouble over, but I didn't. We were talking about how we should interact with people who say they are believers but are in some unrepentant sin. In this particular case, we were talking about people who say they are believers but who are in sexual sin. How do we treat them? Is how we treat them dependent on how well we know them or how much we interact with them?
We were focused on what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 5:
This is when I said what I feel is true, but I was nervous about saying. I was nervous because I know that many believers, some even that I respect, would say that I am off on this. What I said is that the Bible, and particularly the New Testament, is not a rule book. If we try to treat it that way, we will miss out. We have to account for the fact that this letter was written to a a specific community at a specific time 2000 years ago. Is some of what was said generally applicable? Yes. Are we to emulate everything? Not necessarily. So how do we tell what we are to emulate, what to apply, what to hold on to, and what to release? Only through the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
Now, many believers see this as a slippery slope. "If everything in the New Testament is open to the guidance of the Holy Spirit," they might say, "then anyone could do anything they want, or ignore anything they want, and claim the inspiration of the Holy Spirit." That's true. But the true believer would, I feel, be able to discern when someone is doing this. And I would also say that just because it is messy and may feel tenuous is not a real reason to not follow the Spirit.
I believe that the Spirit affirms the Bible, and speaks through the Bible, but ultimately we are to follow the Spirit for faith and practice and not an objective, cold reading of the Bible. The Bible is subordinate to the Spirit of God, and so it is the Spirit that guides into understanding what the Bible really means and how to apply it.
I could write a whole lot more about this, but I think that is enough. I invite your comments.
I had Bible Study today. Actually, Bible study was only the first half. After we talked about Genesis 47 (and, once again, I had the marvelous experience of discovering something new in the Bible that I had never seen before), we spent as-much-and-a-half-as-much time talking about other things. All spiritually related. All uplifting.
One thing that we talked about I thought that I would get in trouble over, but I didn't. We were talking about how we should interact with people who say they are believers but are in some unrepentant sin. In this particular case, we were talking about people who say they are believers but who are in sexual sin. How do we treat them? Is how we treat them dependent on how well we know them or how much we interact with them?
We were focused on what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 5:
11 But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.We discussed what this means for us today. Is discipline like this effective in today's America, where we are so independent and where, if we refuse to associate with someone, they can just go to the church down the street? Is "do not even eat" a cultural thing - what might the equivalent be today? One person was insisting "but if this is what the Bible says, shouldn't we do it? Shouldn't we forget about whether such an action is effective, and just do it, because the Bible says it?"
This is when I said what I feel is true, but I was nervous about saying. I was nervous because I know that many believers, some even that I respect, would say that I am off on this. What I said is that the Bible, and particularly the New Testament, is not a rule book. If we try to treat it that way, we will miss out. We have to account for the fact that this letter was written to a a specific community at a specific time 2000 years ago. Is some of what was said generally applicable? Yes. Are we to emulate everything? Not necessarily. So how do we tell what we are to emulate, what to apply, what to hold on to, and what to release? Only through the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
Now, many believers see this as a slippery slope. "If everything in the New Testament is open to the guidance of the Holy Spirit," they might say, "then anyone could do anything they want, or ignore anything they want, and claim the inspiration of the Holy Spirit." That's true. But the true believer would, I feel, be able to discern when someone is doing this. And I would also say that just because it is messy and may feel tenuous is not a real reason to not follow the Spirit.
I believe that the Spirit affirms the Bible, and speaks through the Bible, but ultimately we are to follow the Spirit for faith and practice and not an objective, cold reading of the Bible. The Bible is subordinate to the Spirit of God, and so it is the Spirit that guides into understanding what the Bible really means and how to apply it.
I could write a whole lot more about this, but I think that is enough. I invite your comments.
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