A parable

Once there was a wealthy man, who left his home for a distant land to receive a great honor. Before he left, he divided his wealth into three parts. He put a different servant over each part, to manage and care for it and see to its needs.

To the first servant he gave charge of his house and all of the possessions therein. To the second servant he gave charge of his lands and all of the wealth that they produced. And to the third servant he gave charge of his wife and of his family and of all his other servants.

The first servant said, "This is a large and well-built house. All I need do is watch it and repair anything that goes amiss. This is a pleasant duty!" And so he (mostly) took his ease.

The second servant said, "My master has worked for many years to ensure that his lands produce great wealth. All I need do is let his wisdom continue on, and the wealth will continue to come in. This is a pleasant duty!" And so he (mostly) took his ease.

The third servant said, "My master has a large family and many servants, and though they are content enough now, if my master should return and find them in discord it will go ill for me." So unknown to the first servant the third servant sold off the house and all of its contents, and included the employment of the first servant in the deal. Then he waylaid the the second servant and stole all of his master's wealth. Then with the money that he had gathered he took all of his master's family and servants and took them to Disneyworld to vacation until his master should return.

After a time the master did return. Finding that the locks of his house had been changed, he went in search of the first servant. But the first servant had grown disenchanted with his new masters and had taken a job as the custodian at the local high school. The master walked around the house, looking for an open window, and saw that there were strange automobiles parked in the garage. So he opened the mailbox and saw mail addressed to someone whose name he did not know. With a sinking feeling he began to suspect the terrible truth.

Just then the second servant arrived, wearing around his head one of those blood-soaked bandages that you see on television. The master asked the servant how he had come to be injured, and the second servant told him of how the third servant had overpowered him and stolen all of the cash he had, as well as a great quantity of credit cards. The master then spoke thus to his servant:

Master: Servant, you should go to the hospital, to have your wounds looked upon.
Second Servant: Good Master, I have been to the hospital, and have just returned from thence.
Master: What?! What kind of hospital is this? Your head's still bleeding! Don't they know how to stop a wound from bleeding? Or how to change a bloody dressing?
Second Servant: um...

Eventually, the second servant got the master to stop complaining about the quality of the local health care, and told him of the whereabouts of the third servant.

Six days later the master caught up with the third servant beside the pool at the Old Key West Resort in Disneyworld. He was gratified to see his wife there as well, and more gratified to see that she was modestly dressed in a one piece swimsuit with one of those wrap-around skirts that women modestly wear at poolside when they are striving to be modest.

The master's wife greeted the master with a peck on the cheek.
Wife: "Hi Hon! How was the awards ceremony?"
Master: "Long. They served fish. And these little flowery carrots. Excuse me, oh wife. Third servant!"
Third servant: "Yes, master."
Master: "What is this that you have done?"

The third servant fell to his knees. "Oh master, I know that you are a hard man, reaping where you have not sown and gathering where you have not planted. I was afraid of your wrath if I failed in my charge, and so I have taken all that you entrusted into my care and brought it to this magic kingdom, that it may be safe for your return."
The master replied, "So, third servant, you know that I am a hard man? Then why have you tried to bankrupt me by taking people to Disneyworld?"
The master's wife said, "He has a name, you know! You don't have to keep calling him 'third servant!'"
The third servant relied, "My name is Colegiala."
The master said, "I don't care about your name, I care...what? Your name is Colegiala?"
Third servant: "Yes."
Master: "Col-e-gi-a-la."
"Yes," said the third servant, a little sharply.
Master: "First or last name?"
Third servant: "First name."
Master: "Your first name is 'schoolgirl', in Spanish."
Third servant: "My mother loved Ernest Hemingway."
The master's wife interrupted: "Now dear, he was just looking out for us while you were away with your honor thing. We've had a lovely time! The children..."
The master rudely interrupted his wife to ask the third servant, "And why did you sell the house?!"
The master's wife looked at the third servant with shock. "Sell the house? You sold the house? You said you had just leased it while we were away!"
The master said sternly, "Yes, sold the house, along with all of its contents and the first servant! Whom, I might add, never went gallivanting off with his portion of the wealth!"
The third servant replied thoughtfully, "Hmm, well, I might have sold it. There was an awful lot of paperwork..."
The master interrupted again: "And why did you assault the second servant and steal all of his wealth?"
The master's wife said, in a voice full of dread, "Assaulted!? You said that he offered you the money!"
The third servant said, "Well, after I tapped him with that crowbar, he held his wallet out to me, so technically..."

Suddenly, the master turned as white as the napkins on the poolside tables: "Oh my gosh! Is that the gardener?"
The third servant said, "Yes, my master. I have brought all of your family and servants to this bounteous land."
The master squeaked, "All? All four hundred and thirty-seven?"
The third servant paused. "Okay, it's a little creepy that you have numbered all of your family and servants like that, but yes, I did purchase that many plane tickets to get us here. Well, and an extra ticket, so that the one hundred and eighty-seventh servant could bring his cello along."

The master strode determinedly to the gardener and a large, burly servant that he vaguely believed was in charge of making sure that he had enough paper clips. "You! and you! Take this untrustworthy servant, and cast him into the outer darkness!"
The two servants looked at each other. "The who? The where?" said the gardener.
The master shouted, "Just get him out of here! But get his wallet first!"

And so the third servant was thrown into the outer heat and humidity. The master gathered up all of his family and servants and chartered four buses to take them all home. He found the first servant and reinstated him, and he sent his second servant to a proper doctor who knew what's what and paid for all his medical bills.

As for the third servant, he was never seen at the house of the master ever again. However, he is suing the master for wrongful termination and back wages. The case is currently being appealed in the Court of Orange County, Florida.