Yesterday we had the pleasure of a visit from my sister-in-law, her husband, and two of their four kids. They came to church with us, attended our Bible study after, and hung out with us. Good folks. It was a sweet time.
It was good to see them. They have been in Ukraine for over a decade (I think; seems like forever), leading a Bible training school over there. Now, however, they have come stateside for the foreseeable future and will be living downstate to be near their son and his new grandson. Of course, this holds out the hope that we will see them more often than the every three years or so that has been the usual (though I don't know; for some reason I haven't seen my parents-in-law for about six months). Since they are stepping out of their full-time ministry, they are spending some time in the next couple of months to visit supporters and thank them for their assistance.
They had some miraculous stuff happen when they got here. One day after arriving my sister-in-law was able to get a driver's license (establishing residency through two letters that were delivered to her parent's house for her husband). Then the next day (or maybe the next) they purchased a car. By the end of the week they had found a house to buy and had had their bid on it accepted! Kind of makes your head spin!
While they were here I had a plumbing project go wrong. I worked on adding a new water filter to our kitchen on Saturday, and Sunday morning we woke up to warm water all over the kitchen floor. It had not only soaked through the floor to the basement in one place, it had also gotten into the ductwork and was dripping through several low points to form a huge puddle on the basement floor. My darling wife keeps old towels around for things like this, so we got to work and cleaned it up. We were mostly done before our guests got up; I'm glad I didn't have to deal with the embarrassment of having them help us sop up the mess. Ah well, someday I will laugh. Let's make it today. Hah!
Seriously, I'm thankful that the water didn't do any permanent damage, nor electrocute someone, nor ruin the kitchen computer (which rests on the floor).
Yesterday, I declared to my wife that she would have to get a plumber to finish the project. However, it occurs to me that this may cost a lot of money for someone to tell me "Yup, this filter is bad, send it back." So, I'll get back to work on it tonight. Or maybe tomorrow.
No numbers this morning, I'm too sore.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
August 18, 2008
August 5, 2008
Parenting thoughts
Here are some thoughts on parenting.
Every parent has to reserve within their heart a little corner where they are indifferently, if not coldly, objective toward their children. This is where they can retreat when their affection for their child threatens to override their wisdom for what is best for their child.
In most cases a young child will win a battle of emotions - their emotions are undimmed by the years of shepherding that most adults have experienced, they are more willing to pour all of their energy into the battle, and they are not deterred by empathy for their opponent. The key to winning a battle of emotions is to not show up for the fight, and to instead compel the child to interrelate on the parent's terms.
It is a joy that children push limits. They are naturally drawn to exercise each new faculty that they gain, so when they push limits they show that they are growing. In addition, they will push only when they are in an otherwise secure environment - many is the child that was "perfect" for the babysitter and then fell to pieces when the parents returned home. Let us take joy in the fact that our growing children feel secure enough to test out the limits in our presence. Our job is not to condemn them for pushing limits, but to determine where they should meet up with an earthen bank that may be climbed and where they should meet up with a tall stone wall that may not.
A child's brain is the most amazing pattern recognition machine in the world.
Children are deceptive. When born, they appear to be little more than some type of helpless pet. Later, they learn and grow, but they are still easy to overrule, easy to physically move, easy to segregate. It is tempting to forget that their spirits are fully present at birth, and that they are true spiritual persons in the same way that any adult is. Because of this, they need to be treated like people and not merely directed to go here and do this and don't do this. They need to be treated like people, and not like clever furniture.
Children need interaction. They require response. They need to know that what they do matters, and that they can affect the world around them. A child will flower when given the great treasure of an adult that will listen to everything they have to say and answer all of their questions.
It is not defeat to admit weakness to a child. It will not utterly devastate a child to learn that their parents have doubts and struggles and don't know everything. It is not failure but victory when you confess to your child that you made a mistake and ask for their forgiveness.
My main advice to fathers: open yourself up to joy. Allow yourself to feel the wonder of being a father.
Every parent has to reserve within their heart a little corner where they are indifferently, if not coldly, objective toward their children. This is where they can retreat when their affection for their child threatens to override their wisdom for what is best for their child.
In most cases a young child will win a battle of emotions - their emotions are undimmed by the years of shepherding that most adults have experienced, they are more willing to pour all of their energy into the battle, and they are not deterred by empathy for their opponent. The key to winning a battle of emotions is to not show up for the fight, and to instead compel the child to interrelate on the parent's terms.
It is a joy that children push limits. They are naturally drawn to exercise each new faculty that they gain, so when they push limits they show that they are growing. In addition, they will push only when they are in an otherwise secure environment - many is the child that was "perfect" for the babysitter and then fell to pieces when the parents returned home. Let us take joy in the fact that our growing children feel secure enough to test out the limits in our presence. Our job is not to condemn them for pushing limits, but to determine where they should meet up with an earthen bank that may be climbed and where they should meet up with a tall stone wall that may not.
A child's brain is the most amazing pattern recognition machine in the world.
Children are deceptive. When born, they appear to be little more than some type of helpless pet. Later, they learn and grow, but they are still easy to overrule, easy to physically move, easy to segregate. It is tempting to forget that their spirits are fully present at birth, and that they are true spiritual persons in the same way that any adult is. Because of this, they need to be treated like people and not merely directed to go here and do this and don't do this. They need to be treated like people, and not like clever furniture.
Children need interaction. They require response. They need to know that what they do matters, and that they can affect the world around them. A child will flower when given the great treasure of an adult that will listen to everything they have to say and answer all of their questions.
It is not defeat to admit weakness to a child. It will not utterly devastate a child to learn that their parents have doubts and struggles and don't know everything. It is not failure but victory when you confess to your child that you made a mistake and ask for their forgiveness.
My main advice to fathers: open yourself up to joy. Allow yourself to feel the wonder of being a father.
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