This week, I am ill. I felt it start Saturday, but foolishly decided to go to the church work day anyway. Last Sunday I got a sore throat and lost my voice. Monday morning around 1AM I woke up with my throat in so much pain that I couldn't sleep - it hurt all the time, and when I swallowed it was like swallowing razor blades.
(Swallowing became this mean little game for me. On the one hand, I didn't want to be in pain. On the other, I became very conscious of a need to swallow, and of an obsessive little curiosity about the pain - was it still there? Will it decrease if I swallow a lot? Gulp. OWW! I guess not.)
Tuesday wasn't any better, and so I called my doctor - or, rather, had the wife call, since I couldn't carry on a conversation. First opening was Wednesday morning, so I got over there.
"Yup, you're ill. Might be strep. If it is strep, here is a prescription for antibiotics - you can take it now, or wait for the strep test to get back. If it isn't strep, not much to do besides numb the pain, lower the fever, drink fluids. Strep test should be back Friday."
Wednesday night I developed a cough - my throat was so raw, it tickled all the time. Then I couldn't sleep because of the cough.
Finally, here, on Friday, I feel like I am getting better. I am still running a slight fever (about a half degree), but the pain when I swallow is tolerable, and I can sleep without waking myself up from swallowing or coughing.
But what is it with this illness? I don't normally get this ill. I was also ill for 10 days over the last Christmas holiday as well. It's just weird - I feel like a little kid again, with these long illnesses. It's also a little nerve-wracking to be out of work this long these days. Fortunately, I got a lot of big projects out of the way just before this happened.
I often feel distant from God, but when I am ill I have little interest in spiritual things, other than to throw up a "please make me well" prayer. I pull in, just wanting to be by myself, conserving resources, comforting myself.
I'm glad that he sticks with me anyway, though I don't understand why.
I am so sorry you've been so sick! A sore throat, especially, gets me really down--singing is one of my favorite things to do and when I can't, I hate it.
ReplyDeleteI also feel a little lackluster spiritually when I am sick; I think God understands, though.
Honestly, I feel lackluster with EVERYTHING when I am sick!
Hope you are all well soon!
Thanks, Jess. Yes, it has been tough not being able to sing. I can't even enjoy the fact that my voice is so low - I start coughing after a phrase or two.
ReplyDeleteWhen I realized how bad this was I prayed that the brief contact I had with you on Sunday wouldn't result in you getting ill. I'm glad that I haven't read about you getting ill.
So far no one else in the house has caught this - praise God! Not a misery I want to share!
Yuk...sorry you've been so sick, peaj...but I am glad you are starting to come out of it! Feel better soon.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you've been sick! It's terrible to feel like the rug has been pulled out from under you. I hope you're feeling 100 percent by now.
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