The illustrative tale of Charlie

Every two weeks I have a creative writing project, which other people might refer to as "Peaj's email reminder about Bible Study this week." I try to make it interesting because, you know, who needs to read another "Same Bat-time, same Bat-channel"-type of email?  Since the post I have in the back of my mind about Jesus as a priest in the order of Melchizedek isn't really going anywhere (I have, maybe, two sentences), I thought that I would repurpose (fancy corporate-speak for "ripoff") the email I wrote this morning for the blog.

One day Charlie was just kinda bopping along, in that bopping-along way that he had.

So who is Charlie?
I'll get to that. Just go with it.
I think you should establish your characters before you tell stories about them.
Quit it, will you? Gosh! You're so judgemental!
You spelled "judgmental" wrong.
Shut up!

Anyway, Charlie was bopping along, minding the business that was his, when a large piece of paper floated down toward him.

Oh, like that would happen.
Just listen, will you? It will make sense.
Whatever.

This large piece of paper had writing on it. "Ark" and "lampstand" and "Christ came as high priest of the good things that are already here." Yes it was a copy of Hebrews chapter 9.

Just floating out of the sky?
Yes, just floating down. Now quiet, or I'll send you away!
Ooh, I'm scared.

Unfortunately, Charlie didn't realize that it was Hebrews chapter 9, and so he moved on by it. You see, Charlie couldn't read.

Is this some sort of strange public service announcement?
Will you quit it?
I'm just trying to get where you are going with this.
Can't you take a break from analyzing everything for just one minute?
You know, mom never really liked you either.
Arrgg!

A few seconds later, a large shape loomed out of the fog, and swallowed Charlie in one gulp. A huge fish had eaten Charlie. You see, Charlie was a fish too.

That's weird. And there is no fog under water.
I'm ignoring you. La la la la.

So, the moral is clear: Come to Bible Study, and avoid being eaten by a fish. Bible Study will be this Sunday at about 12:45 PM.

That's your moral?
Can't hear you.

Sorry, Charlie.

OK, that was cute, if a bit obscure.

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I think that this was a little bit inspired by the self-heckling comedy of Jim Gaffigan.